Santa Claus is coming to town!

Living intensely

The following is a slightly more expanded version of my last update to Katie's Karma Corps.

Can you recall a time when to escape and re-create your self for a moment that you lit a few candles, turned out the lights and just listened to the sounds of silence?  I am sure you can.  You may also recall that the candles would suddenly gutter and almost extinguish themselves from some sourceless zephyr of breeze.  

That is rather what December 15 was like for Katie and our family.  With the power of our angels supporting us, we approached the post-surgery consult with Dr. Reedijk with hope and a belief that the worst was surely behind us.  We expected that our movement forward might not be as swift and without obstacle as we would wish, but that the road would be relatively smooth.  

Regardless, you’re probably tired of this preamble and wondering what the hell happened.  In a nutshell here it is:  The appointment was not quite what we were expecting, cancer found in 1 lymph node, and we did not get 1cm clear margins around breast tissue (0.3mm clearance). So now Katie  will undergo CT scans and bone scans on December 23 at Mt. Sinai and PMH  then meet with chemo and radiation teams probably at Credit Valley Hospital.

I have written to you before that as you experience this you become familiar with an entirely new and previously foreign vocabulary.  One of the most frequent terms encountered is that this is all just a journey.  Well, I am here to tell you that this journey makes the rape of Nanking look like a slightly raucous Sadie Hawkins dance.  It makes Masada appear as a somewhat difficult to access picnic spot.  This is no journey folks.  A journey is something with romantic overtones that you pursue voluntarily.  This my friends is a forced march to an uncertain future where shock and anger become daily realities.  Where the candle flame of hope does indeed gutter relentlessly.  Where the will to persist is challenged on almost every front.

I noted with sadness the passing last week of Christopher Hitchens.  Whether you agree with some, all or none of his stupendously contrarian views, no one can deny the brilliance of his writing.  I came upon the following quote and it seemed more apt than anything for this period of our life.

“Life on this earth, with all its mystery and beauty and pain, is then to be lived far more intensely: we stumble and get up, we are sad, confident, insecure, feel loneliness and joy and love. There is nothing more; but I want nothing more.”

Christopher Hitchens

With your help and continued support we will live intensely.  We will cling to the belief that the collective power you provide and the super feisty attitude of Katie will some day lead us to a point where the flames never gutter.  Where the light shines brightly and we feel the warmth of the sun.

Thank you from Katie, Gabriel, Samuel and one very tired old man.   We appreciate you and continue to honour you.  We send you great blessings for Christmas and whatever else you choose to celebrate.

Blow your mind

Ever find yourself looking for something to blow the cobwebs out?  Something to remind you of why we need to fight to protect mother earth?  Images to inspire you and recreate your child-like sense of wonder?  Pictures that define the real meaning of awesome?

Then, please, do yourself a favour and click this link right now.  

I promise you will feel better and you will want to share it with anyone you can imagine who might need a little pick me up or just a moment of genuine inspiration.  

Now this is what I call going to church!

And, thanks to Tony Pickard for sharing this with me originally on FB. 

 http://vimeo.com/30581015

gracehannainc.com updated - again!

I just updated my website and thought you might want to check it out.

Grace Hanna Inc. http://www.gracehannainc.com

Take a look and let me know what you think!

My boys like it.

Gabriel

Samuel

Clanmore Montessori

Clanmore Montessori

Here is the link for Gabriel's school. It will also be Samuel's next fall.

I couldn't more highly recommend this family. Children are the absolute and utmost priority and Gabriel has completely blossomed during his three years (and counting!) with the great teachers of Clanmore.

Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog: Innovation Creates Uncertainty

Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog: Innovation Creates Uncertainty

The dignity of choice

I've told my children that when I die, to release balloons in the sky to celebrate that I graduated. For me, death is a graduation.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Nana Kerr, 99 with Samuel 1 1/2

No.  My Mom is not dead.  She just wishes she was.

She has outlived three husbands.

She has outlived her three sisters.

She has outlived one of her daughters.

She has outlived all of her close friends save two.

She, according to her own statement misses in order - her husband Mac, her car and playing golf.

Her mind is still sharp.  She is still the best bridge player at Queen's Terrace.  She knows all the stuff she used to know - it just takes a little longer to retrieve the information.

Her body doesn't work the way she wants it to.

She was an athlete and a champion golfer, curler, swimmer and her sporting achievements are recorded in a Hall of Fame.

She is in pain.

She is lonely - although we visit often and my niece Elaine is a constant presence and enormous source of loving support.

She loves her grandchildren - Mackenzie, Wesley, Eli, Gabriel and Samuel.

She revels in their growth and love.

She regrets that she won't see them grow to young men but has left each a legacy that will long outlive her corporeal presence.

She is depressed.

She has had two heart attacks in the past two months.

She once said that when she went she wanted to go with a massive cardiac arrest but after the first one she delightfully commented that she'd changed her mind about that because it hurt too much!

Her first comment when I visit, after expressing genuine joy at seeing me, is that she wants to die.

She doesn't understand why her powerful faith and belief seem to bar her from joining her departed loved ones.

She commands that we not grieve for her when her wish is granted.

She wants a party.

Her situation, and those of others with whom I am familiar, led me to join the Dying with Dignity movement.

We live our lives with a fundamental belief that individual choice is all important and yet when we come to a point where life no longer is the preferable alternative, choice is removed from our arsenal.

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."
Bill Maher

This is not by any means a morbid account.

It is a brief reflection on a powerful woman's desire to continue to make the critical decisions in her life.

Please consider this:  my mother has a strong and abiding faith in her God.  It is not a belief I share nor does that really matter.  After almost a century of living she is ultimately feeling disappointed that her God won't bring her home.  This is not the way we should be living our final  days.

If you are of a mind, please visit www.dyingwithdignity.ca to learn more about how we can influence our final choices and the liberty and freedom we can all enjoy.

In the meantime, Mom, we hear you.  We love you.  We will give you a great party and as you wrote on your 21st birthday "we will join you in making whoopie!"